Feeling Bogged Down? (Constipation)

Sometimes there’s no better feeling than actually having the shits.

Being able to properly give a shit, you know?

Sitting there on the ‘loo willing it to come easily and feeling the frustration of that stubborn turd which you know is in there but dammit it’s stuck. You’re farting like the winner of a curry eating competition, you feel full and bloated ~ can’t wear tight fitting pants etc. and you’ve got sporadic cramping in the lower tummy/bottom area.

Not nice is it?

I never thought so back when as a stressed out non-nutritionist McDonald’s muncher who didn’t so much as power walk I used to suffer regular constipation; and when it occasionally happens to me these days I’m all over that poo hostage like a SWAT team (Shit Will Arrive Today.)

Top Left = Ahhh.

You can try the bottom right but the top left is the goal.

Here’s a few tips to get things moving:

1. Slippery elm bark powder ~ a mixture of both soluble and insoluble fibre with gut-healing and good bacteria-nourishing properties.

  • Mix a teaspoon into a thick paste then thin out with extra water and stir vigorously until well blended. Drink pretty quickly as it thickens upon standing.
  • Take before meals (within half an hour) 3 – 4 times per day and ensure to drink plenty of water throughout the day so as to avoid further bogging up.
  • *Be mindful that as it is source of fibre it may interfere with the absorption of supplements and medications, so take at least an hour away from dosing with these.
  • Further to the above point, it may also decrease dips in appetite by sustaining fullness longer as it delays the absorption of food and as such can be included in diet (weight loss) protocols.

2. Eat Prunes

  • All you need is 2 – 4 prunes, chewed thoroughly and followed with a glass of water then get on with your day and wait for the magic to happen.
  • Up the therapeutic value of prunes by eating them along with a handful of raw nuts, which will provide additional intestinal stimulation by literally scraping the walls clean of stodgy matter.

3. Eat Seeds

  • Pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, linseeds, chia seeds: include them in a raw trail mix for a morning snack or add them to your breakfast, about a 1/4 cup at least per day.
  • Not only will these provide minerals, good fats and protein ~ but their hard shells will take on a scrubbing brush effect and provide bulk to stools which aids their removal.

4. Drink Adequate Water

  • Not just a hastily gulped glass when you finally realise that you’re parched: because this is a sign that you are actually dehydrated! I’m talking organise yourself a 1L bottle (at least) and sip from it consistently throughout the day.
  • You need water to mix your food waste into a soft and easy to pass stool.
  • If you don’t have enough water you’ll end up with hard, dry and crumbly stools that aren’t able to move easily along your bowel. And then you get backed up and things get nasty.
  • In severe cases fecal matter can actually pass backward causing toxicity in the digestive system and the stinkiest breath you ever didn’t want to smell.

5. Ensure you eat sufficient protein

  • And not just slabs of steak, OK? Mixed source protein from lean meat to organic eggs and dairy through to nuts, seeds, legumes and whole grains.
  • We are MADE of protein. Our intestines and muscles are protein so if they are sluggish due to a protein deficiency then they are not going to do their job properly: and their job is to move in such a way as to pass food and waste along the digestive tract.

6. MOVE it or don’t lose it

  • You’ve got to keep active in order to move things along. If you’re a sedentary sort then the chances are that most of you is also sedentary.
  • Physical activity provides oxygen and nutrient exchange to all tissues of the body and engages muscular contraction and relaxation: including your bowel.

7. Let Go Man

  • Anally retentive? Like, really? Stress, anxiety, fear etc. can all contribute to constipation. It’s the body holding on, so tightly wound up that it’s unable to let go, to release…
  • Identify whatever it is that’s stressing you out and take action to workshop it and reduce it.
  • Also do not ignore urges for number twos: if you feel like you need to go, then go!

8. Eating crap won’t make you crap

  • Address your intake of nutrient-poor, highly processed foods as these do nothing to contribute to your digestive health. Nothing.

9. Taking Meds?

  • If you are on medications (long term) there may be side effects such as constipation. Check with your Doctor if this is the case and if it is then you can increase your intake of fibre and water and perhaps take a gentle laxative (such as slippery elm bark powder) also.

10. Taking Laxatives?

  • Be wary of using not so gentle laxatives for an extended period of time as these can irritate the bowel and also lead to a lazy bowel as its job is made redundant by the use of laxatives.
  • The aim is to stimulate and support the bowel in it’s job, not take over.

Further Notes:

  • Now for some people, once a day is normal, for others twice a day is normal and some go only every other day. But if there’s a regular pattern and the stools are healthy: easy to pass, are medium brown, sink and aren’t offensively smelly then everything is ticekty poo boo!
  • When bowel habits change it can really affect overall health and peace of mind, and providing that there’s no other serious complicated signs and symptoms such as bleeding, weight loss, appetite changes, lowered immunity etc. then the first course of action is to get the bowel moving again.
  • IF there are other signs and symptoms that are causing concern and efforts to regain regular toilet habits haven’t made a change then it’s best to see a Doctor. Whilst bowel cancer is common, it is also one of the most successfully treated types of cancer: particularly when detected early.
  • Be assured that constipation is a commonly experienced symptom of many causes, it’s normal and responds well to dietary and natural therapeutic approaches.

~Yours wishing you good shit man, K180, x

















  1. I was expecting a pic of Mr Hanky the Christmas Poo – am disappointed. šŸ˜€

Leave a comment